Miss You
by Eliza Darling
Summary: After the rescue, Rey learns that parting, indeed, is such sweet sorrow. Epilogue Two of The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break.


**I swear caffeine makes my writing so focused... it's like my miracle drug. And luckily I limit myself to only a cup a day when I need it. I was very saddened to read some comments from the last epilogue! I certainly don't go out of my way to make anyone cry. But knowing you guys are so impassioned for something I wrote really touches me, really.**

 **And, as promised, a bit of a lighter ending. This one is probably the outcome everyone _thought_ would ultimately happen.**

 _ **The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break**_

 **Epilogue Two: "Miss You"**

" _I really miss you, miss you, I said._

 _Smile at the chance just to see you again._

 _I really miss you, miss you, I said._

 _Just look at me now before I walk away._

 _You just might miss me, or miss me one day._

 _Yeah, yeah, yeah…."_

—Foster the People

Returning to the Resistance base proved to be an awkward affair, especially when Finn barely spoke more than a few words to her, and when he did, he was practically chewing her out, judging her for her relationship with Hux. She felt it better to be silent than argue with him, especially since she felt that Finn was right, to an extent. It _was_ a strange relationship that made no sense when they were both back where they belonged, but something within her also wanted to scream out that Hux had _helped_ her, and though he'd done some terrible things, he didn't seem to be the type to go back on his word.

Rey certainly wouldn't back down on hers.

Her return certainly had the Resistance celebrating, even if Hux came back in binders and was taken to a cell, with Rey unable to say anything to him. In fact, she hadn't said a word to him since she told him she loved him, before the _Falcon_ landed. After that it was a blur of her friends greeting her with warm hugs and kisses, and before she knew it, Finn clapped Hux in binders and had a blaster pointed at his chin, just as Poe lifted her in his arms.

All Luke had really told her was that she was proud she'd furthered her training without him, and that she'd been able to reach him in these far reaches, in the middle of nowhere. Apparently no one actually thought she was gone, and that she'd eventually reach them one day. Rey was touched that her friends seemed to care so much about her survival, and had counted on her to rely on her burgeoning powers. But without Hux, she couldn't have even fathomed reaching them, which she kept emphasizing to Luke to the point of him becoming exasperated with her.

Well, not _just_ Luke. Finn seemed to be silently fuming, she and him too afraid to really talk about the thing bugging their minds so prominently, especially when Hux stayed under Finn's constant watch. Rey tried to apologize, but Finn didn't seem to want to hear it, at least not now. But she hadn't _planned_ to fall for Hux, and he must have known that Hux hadn't wanted anything to do with her in the beginning. If only he wasn't stewing in his anger and just _talked_ to her!

She tried to be sentimental. "I _really_ missed you," she said instead, changing the subject.

Finn sighed, contemplating whether or not to answer her. "I did, too," he replied after a few moments, conceding. "You were gone and I was lost for a while there. Poe, he… helped me through a lot of it, actually."

Did that mean…? Rey blinked, sitting up straighter. Hux just looked rather confused, but he said nothing. "So are you…?" she guessed, trying not to label it. But she had a _feeling_ , ever since she first noticed the two hanging out.

Finn shrugged. "Yeah… I'd say we're together," he replied.

Rey had to smile at that, even if it wasn't as large as she would have liked. Her two best friends, involved? "That's amazing," she said, boldly reaching over to squeeze his arm. "Really, I'm _so_ happy for you. The _both_ of you." All Rey regretted was not being present for the occasion.

Even with Hux sharing this moment with them, Finn gave a bit of a smile as well. "Honestly, I wasn't sure how you'd react," he admitted, before looking back to his former superior. "Whether you'd be okay with it or not…"

"What? Why would I not be?" Before Finn could answer, Rey continued. "You're both my friends, and you both care about each other so dearly. Of course I'm happy for you. When you love someone, it's not exactly a feeling you can control."

Finn's brows furrowed, and he looked from Rey, to Hux, whose neck started to turn pink, and then back at Rey again. Damn. She'd ruined the tender moment she'd tried to have with her friend. He didn't speak to her after that.

* * *

Rey _still_ hadn't had a chance to talk to Hux when they returned to the Resistance base, as he was then quickly ushered into a holding cell, and it seemed the whole base wanted to greet Rey on her return. Even people she didn't interact with wanted to shake her hand or hug her, it seemed. It all went in a blur, with Rey unable to process all of it as she worried greatly about Hux, and what would happen to him now that she seemed to have ruined her case in vouching for him. Her head spun, voices muffled with so many declarations and congratulations of her arrival.

She barely said a word through it all. If anyone knew about her romance with General Hux, they didn't express it, thankfully. But with the way Leia glanced over at her every once in a while, Rey knew that Luke had been in close communication with her all this time. She _knew_. And by the looks of it, she certainly didn't approve.

When Rey finally got around to speaking to Leia, she couldn't even look her in the eye, and of course Leia played the more understanding, empathetic mentor, taking her hands with such a kindness and leading her aside so they could talk privately. Rey wanted to tear up just from that, but she took a few calming breaths, the way Hux had taught her. Nothing had ultimately been decided yet, so she could hold a bit of optimism for his future. She wouldn't know what to do if the Resistance called for his execution—she had a feeling something inside her would die alongside him.

"It's my fault…" she murmured, taking complete responsibility for what had happened between her and Hux. "He didn't pressure me into anything—if anything, _I'm_ the one who wanted to start a romance, though I promised to vouch for him, and I apologize—"

"Rey," Leia said lowly, interrupting her thoughts. "I definitely don't approve. But I'm not here to chastise or lecture you. You're so young—of _course_ you were curious. And the situation was so abnormal…"

"Please," Rey urged, not above begging at this point. She didn't mean to, but she squeezed Leia's hands a bit tighter. "Even before the romance I vowed to plead his case just for helping me reach you and Luke. And I understand that the strategic thing to do is keep him in confinement."

Would it be too judgmental to say this…? Rey went for it anyway as she continued. "But I think in going… the way I think others suspect will be best, I believe we just show the First Order that the Resistance are no better than them—that we will produce results we want to attain by any means necessary. In this situation, maybe it's more strategic to take the moral high ground than the easiest route. And I'm not saying this because I was involved in a relationship. I legitimately believe the First Order will be thrown off by this small truce."

It was a speech that had been in the back of her mind for a while now, and now she was finally saying it. Heart pounding, she watched as Leia seemed to really contemplate her words, and didn't seem to think that she was speaking just for Hux's benefit. She could only hope Leia agreed with her—even though Rey knew how difficult it was for _her_ to leave Hux back where she knew he belonged, in the heart of the enemy, in the life into which he'd been born and raised.

This adventure had certainly changed the both of them. Whether or not it was for the better, she really didn't know.

"I think anyone here would admire your great passion," Leia replied with a sigh. She let go of Rey's hands. Even though Rey was taller than her, she still felt Leia held such a presence that she couldn't help but feel rather small—perhaps it was because Leia had come from royalty. "That doesn't mean anything, as this isn't solely my decision. But I'm definitely going to take your words into great consideration, and I admire your courage, knowing what this might do to you in the near future."

Even though it wasn't a final decision, Rey felt such relief that she couldn't help but let a few tears fall with a nod. "Thank you," she whispered. It didn't really occur to her that she would be _so_ separated from Hux if he was to go back to the First Order, and now the feeling was starting to hit her. But it was the right decision, that she knew in her heart of hearts.

Maybe Hux would finally stop calling her childish.

* * *

In the time before Leia and her delegates made their decision, Rey tried her best to integrate herself back into Resistance life. While there was still some estrangement between her and Finn, they still sparred, and a smile graced her face every time she saw Poe take Finn's hand, or noticed Finn resting his head on Poe's shoulder as they shared a tender moment. Something about their relationship looked so organic and _right_ —a stark contrast to what everyone thought of her and Hux.

Not to mention, no one wanted to accompany Rey on her daily excursions to visit Hux, except BB-8 (on occasion). Not that she minded. After all, it meant that, other than the guards that kept their eyes on him all hours of the day and night, they had their privacy, even if a thick glass pane kept them quite separated. Rey would press her hand or forehead as close as she could to him, wishing her palm met with his rather than the cool glass that seemed to tease and torment her. She desperately _missed_ the contact only he could provide. Of course she could get a hug from Finn or Poe or Chewie whenever she desired. But it certainly wasn't the same as being held by a lover, she understood that now.

It was like a limbo, where they waited for the final verdict of Leia's decision. Hux assured Rey that no matter what, he was prepared for the outcome, but Rey didn't lie to him (mostly because he could read right through her). She certainly _wasn't_ prepared for his departure, whether it be back to the First Order or just out of existence. Though she'd only known him for such a short amount of time, the idea of him _gone_ from her life wasn't computing within her. And she wasn't sure what would be more difficult: the idea of him back in the life he'd known, or the idea of him dead. They both seemed terrible.

The Resistance had shown Hux a bit of kindness by keeping what looked like a comfortable cot and blanket in his cell, and even some grooming supplies to keep himself looking sharp as ever. Sometimes Rey would take her meals with him, and she noticed that Hux received the same sort of food she did. But, out of the corner of her eye, she saw the fresh tunic he never touched. Apparently he'd never compromise that damned uniform, and Rey kind of wished she'd seen him in anything _other_ than that.

"What's wrong with those clean clothes?" she asked, pointing her chin toward the untouched tunic. "They're perfectly reasonable."

Hux, in his usual stuffy fashion, wrinkled his nose. "And wear the sign of the Resistance on my person? How dare you suggest such a thing, little minx."

Stubborn and ridiculous as he was, this still made her shoot him a fond smile. "Tage…" she uttered, so the guard wouldn't hear the special nickname she had for him. "You're utterly _impossible_ to please."

And it was sadly one more thing she would miss about him.

* * *

It worked.

Her pleading to Leia to give Hux back to the First Order _actually_ worked.

It took a few weeks, but it was decided that the Resistance would meet the First Order in a neutral location, with a temporary ceasefire as General Hux was handed back over where he belonged. And while Rey still had a childish fantasy of them still being together, she knew he couldn't properly adapt to the Resistance. It just wasn't _him_ , after everything she'd learned about his past, his goals, his hopes and fears. And what she hated was that the future was so _uncertain_ for them now, more than ever.

Maybe she'd fall out of love with him one day. Maybe she'd forget about all this. Maybe it wouldn't hurt if she ever saw him in an enemy setting after this. But she doubted it.

She certainly wasn't going to say goodbye now, not until the Resistance transport shuttle landed and she _had_ to tear herself away from him. Leia promised that the First Order had no suspicion of their romance, and Rey certainly had to thank her for that. The First Order definitely wouldn't be nearly as understanding (and the Resistance wasn't very understanding, either) of their relationship, and she noticed Hux heave a sigh of relief when he was told he was going back.

Finn stayed behind at the Resistance base, thinking it wise that his former superiors not see him in his new setting. Rey couldn't help but feel relieved, knowing that he'd probably have a clearer head when Hux was gone and she returned. He even hugged her before she left.

Poe accompanied the Resistance with BB-8 in tow on his X-Wing, and he and Finn shared a tender moment before the departure. Rey couldn't help the tug at her heart seeing them kiss—as she longed for that one final moment with Hux. And her friends just looked so _right_ for each other. No one was going to question them, or find them unnatural together. But she couldn't be jealous, even if she couldn't have a relationship like that. This was what she'd gotten herself into. And, looking at Hux being escorted onto the shuttle, she doubted she'd ever change that.

Rey and Poe would be the main delegates negotiating when they handed Hux over. Luke and Leia were too important to the Resistance to risk traveling toward a potential ambush, and though the thought of handing Hux over so willingly brought a sinking feeling to her stomach, she knew this was what he ultimately wanted.

Chewie, wonderful and protective of Rey as he was, piloted the Resistance shuttle voluntarily. Some of the finest soldiers accompanied them for the worse case scenario.

And after takeoff, she made her request to Hux's guard.

"Let me sit with him. Alone," she demanded, her heart pounding, her voice a bit shaky. "We certainly can't cause any harm here." And Rey would never dream of compromising a vessel piloted by Chewie.

The guard seemed to take this rather seriously, looking back toward Chewie, and then to the prisoner, slumped in his seat, still clapped in binders. To help her case, Rey took her lightsaber out of her thigh holster and handed it to him. "Let me have this final moment. _Please_."

And so they had a few hours alone, for one last time.

Silently Rey curled herself into Hux's lap, breathing a sigh of relief just to have that contact again. And she could hear Hux do the same, his eyes closing briefly when his bound arms came around her frame to hold her. Perhaps he squeezed her a bit too tightly, but to Rey it felt _perfect_. She nuzzled her cheek against his neck, her hands resting against his chest. Hard to believe, but his heart was beating just as quickly as hers.

Overwhelmed with just _being_ here with him, Rey could already feel tears stinging her eyes. In the way the Finn and Poe simply looked perfect together, Rey could only describe being in Hux's embrace as just _right_. She felt his cheek rest atop her head, his arms holding her as tight as he could, despite the restraints. "Tell me this isn't it," she murmured. "Tell me there's some way this ends well."

"I wouldn't know that," he sighed in reply. Alone, she realized, his voice reverted back to that gentle way he only seemed to reserve for her. "But promise me something, Rey."

"Anything," she said immediately, not thinking.

"If we ever see each other again during this war, don't treat me as a lover. As soon as this shuttle lands, you know we can't do this. Not until one side prevails."

Rey pulled away slightly to glance up at him. He… was completely serious. She realized that if they were ever in battle again, he wouldn't hesitate to do his job, and he wanted her to treat him the same. Could she _really_ do that? "Tage…" she started.

"And you can't call me that anymore. If the First Order knew of this, they won't be nearly as merciful as your precious Resistance."

Rey didn't know what hurt more: knowing that their future was so shaky, or that even though he was saying such terrible things, he still held her so close. Very, very slowly, she nodded. "I promise." She knew how much Hux's affiliation meant to him. And she hated that she had to start respecting that again.

"Good girl." Hux pressed his lips to her forehead for a long moment.

"But promise me something in return?" Rey asked, moving her hands to wrap around his waist.

Hux just hummed in acknowledgement.

"Promise that if we somehow make it through this war alive, and there is an outcome, we give this a chance?" A childish vow, she knew, as this might only work if the Resistance won and somehow Hux survived, but the assurance would at least keep her slightly sated.

"I suppose," he conceded, and Rey knew that was probably the best answer she'd get.

They were silent for a good while, just comforted with the contact, with each other's company. Occasionally Rey would tilt her head up for a proper kiss, and if anything felt like perfection, it was the press of his lips against hers, warm and gentle. It certainly wasn't the desperate kiss she'd given him at the rescue—it was something much better than that. But there was a sadness in each kiss she couldn't place, something melancholy and terrible as well. Perhaps it was just a way to emphasize their seemingly doomed romance. And each time she kissed him only solidified just how _much_ she was going to miss this.

"At least you're going home," she said, trying to find some sort of bright side to this. She moved a hand up to his hair, gently stroking it back to get it back to its usual neat state.

Hux was silent again, as if letting her words mull over in his mind. "Sometimes…" He sighed heavily. "Sometimes 'home' has a heartbeat."

Rey promised herself she wouldn't cry, but _this_ … She buried her face against his chest so he couldn't see her getting emotional. "Hux… I love you, too," she replied shakily, her voice muffled against his uniform. She had a suspicion he'd never _actively_ say those three words. But he had his own way of expressing his feelings, she supposed.

It was all too soon when the shuttle slowed and started to land. As soon as Rey noted the journey was reaching its close, she pulled Hux in for one more kiss, and unlike the last one on the deserted planet, Hux kissed her back with just as much passion, just as much feeling. She again tried to remember it all, not parting from him until she heard Chewie growl lowly behind her to announce they'd arrived.

Very, very slowly, Rey removed herself from Hux's lap and shot him one final, saddened look. She couldn't sport this expression when she stepped off the shuttle, she knew. So she took in every bit of feeling Hux gave back, just in his widened green eyes. They'd become hardened once he was back with the First Order. When these doors opened, he was going to treat her like a stranger.

Poe helped escort Rey off the shuttle, as he'd landed prior. Hux and Chewie were behind them. Before them were an array of Stormtroopers, with a tall one in chrome leading it all. No Kylo Ren, Rey noted with a relieved sigh. Thank the Maker. She wouldn't have known what to do if _he_ was here to take Hux back, especially after Hux had revealed the vehemence he felt toward his colleague.

Poe reminded the First Order of this temporary truce just to give Hux back to them, and the whole time, Rey kept her hands clenched at her sides, taking those calming, deep breaths.

 _I can do this. I can do this,_ she repeated in her head with each exhale.

"The First Order acknowledges this truce for the return of General Hux, and will respect General Organa's terms until the allotted time agreed upon beforehand," said the one in chrome—a very tall woman, Rey realized from the sound of her voice.

It… worked. Rey almost blinked in surprise that the First Order hadn't gone back on their word, but before she knew it, Poe had Hux by the arm and brought him over to the chrome Stormtrooper, who immediately undid his binders. Hux rubbed his wrists and didn't look at Rey. Instead, he nodded at the woman, who was even taller than he was. "Captain Phasma," he addressed.

"A pleasure to have you back, General," she nodded in return.

And before Rey could look into those eyes, which were no doubt just as cold as they had been the first time she laid eyes on him, Poe turned her around and escorted her into the shuttle.

She didn't look back, didn't _breathe_ again until Chewie had them back in hyperspace, and Rey vowed not to cry until it was truly warranted. Instead, she shot him a soft " _goodbye_ ," and even though Hux wasn't Force sensitive, she still believed that somehow, someway, the message got to him.

 **Honestly I think writing this ending made me sadder than the last one, but that's because the last one was at least rather final. This leaves them on such a sad, ambiguous note!**

 **Will I go back to something from this ending and add onto it? Maybe. Who knows. But for now, it's time to focus on the last epilogue!**

 **That one, I swear, might shine some hope more than these past two.**

 **As always, reviews and comments are greatly appreciated.**


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